When your Soul is in Solitude; and you lost your Love without Lust

When your Soul is in Solitude; and you lost your Love without Lust

When your Soul is in Solitude; and you lost your Love without Lust by Aniket Kumar Das a.k.a Starrus Xanthis

Back in my childhood days;
Rhythmic sways, I lost my ways;
I remember those phase;
Though I was free yet it felt like a cage;
I want my rage to burst out, take a selfie with a rust pout;
Want to shout, want to be an opportunist;
Life seems like a zombie apocalypse;
Maybe stay in dim, looking grim, but I was capable to win, my birth is not a sin;
That’s why, Earth take in and I get in;
You’re no one to decide, to choose my ride;
I can guide myself for miles, speed dials me;
I remember back, got beaten in a sack;
Got a blind spot in my eye;
I need an ice pack, still I can’t fill this lack;
High stakes, eyes wide awake, wise takes;
I need support for God sakes;

I took a tough course, was in turf wars, wasn’t dead source, I was a race horse;
Solitude roads, I’ve to roar;
These are not SARS, I got some lone-wolf scars;
I wrote the last note before dying;
This is my Soul, you’re reading, I’m underlying;
That suppression, oppression, depression;
Compel me to shut down the operation;
“No, no, that’s not an operation that’s my…”
Yes, I felt shy, now I don’t want to deny;
Body dies, but Love can never die;
Even God said, “Oh my my”;
Ain’t ever got any chance, to romance, to dance or even enhance;
Immense thoughts floored in my mind, flowed to my heart, showed up in my eyes;
But it never came out, of my mouth;

Maybe I was not so prosperous;
My heart was canny and courageous;
I got a scratch on that, I need a stitch;
Not the needle, I had to be rich;
In brief, it was a grief, living dead on the street;
Treated like a prick, situation was bleak;
Attacks got a streak, attached to my reach;
I use to be a coward crying ‘mayday’;
Strive towards dying ‘heyday’;
With my fate, got to laid with, I can’t switch, played with out of which, I died weeping like a witch, keeping high my pitch, cursing as if I was ditched;
That’s so me, can’t you see, so mean, I can see, still racing away like a freak;
Got no fear son, ain’t had a dear one, like an ugly cycle and gear none, Father don’t send me rear, I don’t want to live here, Nun;

This ‘bliss’, is just a word in dictionary;
Supernumerary were the misery, I wasn’t free, causing bleed, want to pause this scene, demons are licking that red cream;
Of course, it was worse, seems like a surge, hatred was purge, I want to grudge, but the evils got merged;
I want everybody to know;
What happened since the go;
I am not the last in the row, many more to come, due to lass betrayal, kicking with the drum, got that so-called glow;
I’m now a Soul, want to be a Ghoul;
It’s not my goal, ain’t want to be ignored, like a stomach growl;
Since start speeding solo, don’t want a duo, alive actually like a rolling stone, you can’t reach me, ’cause I’m gone;
I can’t remember more tears aflow;
Yes, I was dead 4 years ago;

By Aniket Kumar Das a.k.a Starrus Xanthis

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