When your Soul is in Solitude; and you lost your Love without Lust

When your Soul is in Solitude; and you lost your Love without Lust

When your Soul is in Solitude; and you lost your Love without Lust by Aniket Kumar Das a.k.a Starrus Xanthis

Back in my childhood days;
Rhythmic sways, I lost my ways;
I remember those phase;
Though I was free yet it felt like a cage;
I want my rage to burst out, take a selfie with a rust pout;
Want to shout, want to be an opportunist;
Life seems like a zombie apocalypse;
Maybe stay in dim, looking grim, but I was capable to win, my birth is not a sin;
That’s why, Earth take in and I get in;
You’re no one to decide, to choose my ride;
I can guide myself for miles, speed dials me;
I remember back, got beaten in a sack;
Got a blind spot in my eye;
I need an ice pack, still I can’t fill this lack;
High stakes, eyes wide awake, wise takes;
I need support for God sakes;

I took a tough course, was in turf wars, wasn’t dead source, I was a race horse;
Solitude roads, I’ve to roar;
These are not SARS, I got some lone-wolf scars;
I wrote the last note before dying;
This is my Soul, you’re reading, I’m underlying;
That suppression, oppression, depression;
Compel me to shut down the operation;
“No, no, that’s not an operation that’s my…”
Yes, I felt shy, now I don’t want to deny;
Body dies, but Love can never die;
Even God said, “Oh my my”;
Ain’t ever got any chance, to romance, to dance or even enhance;
Immense thoughts floored in my mind, flowed to my heart, showed up in my eyes;
But it never came out, of my mouth;

Maybe I was not so prosperous;
My heart was canny and courageous;
I got a scratch on that, I need a stitch;
Not the needle, I had to be rich;
In brief, it was a grief, living dead on the street;
Treated like a prick, situation was bleak;
Attacks got a streak, attached to my reach;
I use to be a coward crying ‘mayday’;
Strive towards dying ‘heyday’;
With my fate, got to laid with, I can’t switch, played with out of which, I died weeping like a witch, keeping high my pitch, cursing as if I was ditched;
That’s so me, can’t you see, so mean, I can see, still racing away like a freak;
Got no fear son, ain’t had a dear one, like an ugly cycle and gear none, Father don’t send me rear, I don’t want to live here, Nun;

This ‘bliss’, is just a word in dictionary;
Supernumerary were the misery, I wasn’t free, causing bleed, want to pause this scene, demons are licking that red cream;
Of course, it was worse, seems like a surge, hatred was purge, I want to grudge, but the evils got merged;
I want everybody to know;
What happened since the go;
I am not the last in the row, many more to come, due to lass betrayal, kicking with the drum, got that so-called glow;
I’m now a Soul, want to be a Ghoul;
It’s not my goal, ain’t want to be ignored, like a stomach growl;
Since start speeding solo, don’t want a duo, alive actually like a rolling stone, you can’t reach me, ’cause I’m gone;
I can’t remember more tears aflow;
Yes, I was dead 4 years ago;

By Aniket Kumar Das a.k.a Starrus Xanthis

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Heartache and difficult Love: Prose

Heartache does wonders in my chaotic mind. I wish I could say how much I love you that sometimes I wanted to leave you. I was afraid of the unwelcome pain that comes by.

I tried innumerable tries, to kept you against me, I tried several tricks to break our bond-whatsoever bond we possess till. Yet, crystals of my fate, our fate held ourselves firmly for each hard phase we cross. Our bond grew stronger by each passing phase we pass.

I must say, I found peace in your pain. The pain of loving you, the pain of remembrance  passive past or the pain of fear of losing you. Yet, I found peace in YOUR pain. May be my sugar coated scars are deeper than the open cuts. But, it does wonders in the midnight silence. A heart which is full of dread too blooms in your minty memories. Must say, heartache does wonders in my majestic mind!!!

 

you were my unfinished poem

You were my unfinished poem and you weren’t meant for the finished poem.

I used to love your company until or unless something inexplicable happened between Us. I don’t know what it was, maybe it was the ill-effect of the post-pandemic stress that everyone is feeling right now, in their day to day unoccupied occupied schedule.

Or it was when I wrote a poem ‘pretender’ for you. things changed over time. I never thought it was too fast to come by. I remember I wrote forever is a myth, nobody stays forever. everything is ephemeral… I guess, I smelled the fading absence of yours in nearby future.

You know, how I dare to write these by so boldly about you because I know you never read my writings and it easily swept away under your moled nose. you know, I have hated the fact that I loved you. But, just thinking about you keeps my never-changing decision changed. your thoughts remind me that *you were my unfinished poem* and you weren’t meant for the finished poem.

You were my unfinished poem

you are my source of inspiration. every little or less imagination arrives at *the last train to your heart.* and the best part is, it never instil itself to depart, until or unless I feel the feeling of being departure – the feeling of unrealistic togetherness.

Maybe we pretend like everything is the same between us, maybe everything is ephemeral and nobody stays forever. but the feelings I feel for you will always remain the same like the dried precious petals hidden in every next page of the never-ending book. reminding me of that – if one of those petals flew away with the winds; others shall remain and retain with myself.

P.S: it was a never-ending story. My heart wants to write more but I stopped it by doing so…

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Starry Nights

I was running,
Running to the errands,
running towards the Aravali,
Hid behind
Those bushes,
Dusky, dry shades of junglee wheat.


She tried to click behind those wheatish grass.
I ran away from her,
In search of peace.


I was running towards the lanes.
Lanes of Chowpatty,
In search of peace.
tried to camouflage beneath the sea of blue sky.
I guess I was finding something
or running away from my inner self?
I was running away from you,
I was running away from your thoughts.


Amidst of all yours thought, I was entered into the parallel world,
Floating along with the waves of water.
Oh! Did I mention that I turned into a miniature?
Was I dreaming? Or it was all real?
It felt like everything was happening.
I could felt the coldness of the water,
But, just thinking about you, is keeping me warm.

The blue sky turned into the starry night,
The thought of running away from you turned into the feeling of togetherness.
We’re together.
We’re together floating,
deceiving the magic of the starry night.
I was no longer hated the fact that I loved you.
I was sitting alone,
Besides the lake;
Smiling at my random daydreaming.
I was no longer, hiding, running away from anyone.
I was happy to be myself,
Just like a cheerful kid.

© DakshaliGupta

P.s : Oh, did I mention that I’m day dreamer ?:-D

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© 2021 Dakshali Gupta. All Rights Reserved.

Is Forever a Myth?

Forever is a myth, nobody stays forever. Everyone, everything is EPHEMERAL. No one stays for too long.

The sun will rise again . There’s hope . There’s faith. Therefore, happy things, good person, any substance, any relationship are not made forever. They have a lasting point in once life. They are meant to accelerate the specific moment in once life. They have a specific reason to, that’s why they came to our life. But that’s specific is not forever ever.They are for now.

Any or how beautiful a flower may be, it doesn’t matter at all. They have to wither. They have to wither to alive again. See, they also are not forever.

Then why do we even expect as a person to be forever!? When forever things are not even existed in the nature.

What do you think? Share your perspective with me, comment box is all yours…

Ultimate Escape

There’s a moment,
when we all got stuck to the one person.
We couldn’t let him/her go.
We couldn’t let him/her go,
like nothing had happened between US.

We can’t escape from these persons.
As these were much more than the cannabis
Cannabis of addiction.
Addiction of love.
We can’t over to them at once.

We got stuck with these people.
We got stuck to their emotions,
their feelings and to those
butterflies moment.

We don’t know,
what we have to do, to escape from that bait.
We don’t know,
what have to do, to escape from this prison.
We don’t know,
what should we do, to escape from that person.

We all wanted to escape, but couldn’t .
We all wanted to detach our feelings but couldn’t.
We all wanted to cut those strings of fluttering butterflies but couldn’t.

My own efforts just go in vain, when it came to you.
I tried to escape from you, but I couldn’t.
I tried to detach myself from your feelings but I couldn’t.
I tried to cut all those strings between us,
and I almost did,
but, you stopped.
and the ultimate escape I have finally achieved is by YOU.
Yes, YOU were my ultimate guide that I am finally over YOU.
©dakshali.gupta

// Sometimes, Changes are hard to accept but time heals everything //

Rating: 1 out of 5.

COSMOS

https://www.lovethispic.com/image/162990/colorful-fantasy-art
In the vastness and void
Of this silence;
I have understood the cosmos,
That we both shared.
In this vastness and void of silence,
I have understood the love,
That we once shared.
May be,
We don't talk much nowadays or
Will not ever talk in future.
But,
The love we have shared once
Is still in those COSMOS
With realm's interconnected.
No matter,
What crisis we are facing off.
You'll always with me,
In your absence.
You'll always with me,
With your inevitable smiles,
plenty of pungent promises and,
Innumerable talks,
Which may sound gibberish yet insightful,
When engrossed quietly.
No matter,
What crisis we are facing off.
On the horizons of oblivion,
You'll still always with me for eternity.
I have faith,
I have faith,
On the crystals of my fate.
Our realm is still interconnected
Somewhere,
Within this COSMOS.
@dakshali.gupta
(22/09/20)

In response to Eugi’s weekly prompt – cosmos – 21 September 2020

Lighting 🌩️


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Remember ?

WDYS #5 ~ Sometimes, unhappy days were most happy moments. ~

Kyle Glenn – Unsplash

Remember,
We used to share love in a very unique way,
whenever we had a fight.

Remember,
We used to converse via sticky notes,
on that board,
placed on that wall.

Remember,
That wall is used to be our fav. place,
where we spend our most of the time.

Remember,
How our fight ends within a sec.
with just exchange of some notes.

And,
Now we’re laughing remembering those days.

~ Sometimes, unhappy days can be a happy moments isn’t it ? ~

In response to, Sajde’s What Do You See #43

© Dakshali Gupta (20/08/20) | All Rights Reserved !

What If

An imperfect perfectly Friendship

Image courtesy : Google
What if,
If I actually decided to forget you.
What if, I forgot you.

What if,
If I decided to parted off for forever.
What if, I parted off.

What if,
If I neglected all the promises we have made.
What if, I overlooked them completely.

What if,
If I ignored the voices of the words,
the poems which I have written for you.
What if, those words don't haunted me.

What if,
If I didn't listen to my innerself,
Ignoring the rays of hope coming within myself.
What if, I totally dumped that hope.

What if,
If the "Alag Aasmaan" don't push me to apologise for my fault.
And not signifies the beauty of friendship.
What if, I didn't listened to that song.

What if,
If you never forgive me for my words.
What if, you forgot me in all these process.

What if,
If we will never meet in future.
What if, we had not met each other in life.

©Dakshali Gupta(04/08/20)

PS : I think this poem is better being half written. Idk, but it looks not completely to me but on other hand it is imperfectly perfect !

PPS : ‘Alag Aasmaan’ is the fifth single’s song by Anuj Jain. And all his songs are my all time favourite music :))