Heartache does wonders in my chaotic mind. I wish I could say how much I love you that sometimes I wanted to leave you. I was afraid of the unwelcome pain that comes by.
I tried innumerable tries, to kept you against me, I tried several tricks to break our bond-whatsoever bond we possess till. Yet, crystals of my fate, our fate held ourselves firmly for each hard phase we cross. Our bond grew stronger by each passing phase we pass.
I must say, I found peace in your pain. The pain of loving you, the pain of remembrance passive past or the pain of fear of losing you. Yet, I found peace in YOUR pain. May be my sugar coated scars are deeper than the open cuts. But, it does wonders in the midnight silence. A heart which is full of dread too blooms in your minty memories. Must say, heartache does wonders in my majestic mind!!!
You were my unfinished poem and you weren’t meant for the finished poem.
I used to love your company until or unless something inexplicable happened between Us. I don’t know what it was, maybe it was the ill-effect of the post-pandemic stress that everyone is feeling right now, in their day to day unoccupied occupied schedule.
Or it was when I wrote a poem ‘pretender’ for you. things changed over time. I never thought it was too fast to come by. I remember I wrote forever is a myth, nobody stays forever. everything is ephemeral… I guess, I smelled the fading absence of yours in nearby future.
You know, how I dare to write these by so boldly about you because I know you never read my writings and it easily swept away under your moled nose. you know, I have hated the fact that I loved you. But, just thinking about you keeps my never-changing decision changed. your thoughts remind me that *you were my unfinished poem* and you weren’t meant for the finished poem.
you are my source of inspiration. every little or less imagination arrives at *the last train to your heart.* and the best part is, it never instil itself to depart, until or unless I feel the feeling of being departure – the feeling of unrealistic togetherness.
Maybe we pretend like everything is the same between us, maybe everything is ephemeral and nobody stays forever. but the feelings I feel for you will always remain the same like the dried precious petals hidden in every next page of the never-ending book. reminding me of that – if one of those petals flew away with the winds; others shall remain and retain with myself.
P.S: it was a never-ending story. My heart wants to write more but I stopped it by doing so…
Sometimes, we just need someone's support to take care of ourselves, who would always be on your side, boost your mood in your bad days, be with you, just a lil' cuddle would vanish all other problems in a sec.
Sometimes, that someone would be is none other than ourself ! Yes, with time we need learn to LOVE our pains, struggles, scars, strengths, weaknesses and attain flight with pride and wisdom.